My Girlfriend's Back

My GirlfriendтАЩs Back
Chapter One
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A single tear ran down тАЩs face. He kneeled in front of a cement grave stone, tracing the letters carved in it with his fingers. He sniffled. He wished things were different; he wished he had been there for her when she needed him most.

blamed McFly, the music band he was in with three of his best mates. He didnтАЩt blame his friends, of course, but blamed the bandтАЩs busy schedule distracting him from the most important thing in his life. She was gone now, gone for good. He never got the chance to say the things heтАЩd been keeping inside.

He kissed the tips of his fingers and pressed it against the tombstone. got up, wiped the tears from his eyes and walked back to his car parked a few feet away by the curb. He had to blink the new tears from his eyes to focus his vision, before driving away with caution into on-coming traffic.

When he arrived at his apartment, he didnтАЩt even bother to remove his shoes or clothes when he got inside and fell down on his bed.

It took for what seemed like a really long time to drift to sleep. But in those long, agonizing minutes he could only think about one thing тАФ her.

He couldnтАЩt think of anything else. During band rehearsals he often couldnтАЩt concentrate, forgetting the music he was supposed to be playing, or the lyrics he was supposed to be singing. felt empty, lost, like a part of his heart was dead too.

, and pounded their fists on тАЩs front door. It woke him, but for only a second. He couldnтАЩt be bothered, not today.

тАЬWhy isnтАЩt he answering?тА? turned to and .

They shrugged their shoulders lamely.

тАЬMaybe heтАЩs dead,тА? said.

and glared at him, surprised that he would say such a thing.

тАЬOkay. Maybe heтАЩs taking a piss,тА? joked.

let out a small laugh as he reached for the doorknob and pushed the door wide open. The boys walked through the apartment, which needed a good clean, to тАЩs bedroom where they found him sprawled out on the bed sleeping. They jumped on top of him, nudging him in the sides with their fists.

тАЬWake up, . Come on,тА? called.

тАЬNo. Let me sleep. Leave me alone,тА? mumbled in the bed sheets.

тАЬWeтАЩve got to rehearse for the gig coming up in the next couple days,тА? reminded him.

тАЬYeah, . Come on,тА? encouraged, kicking him gently in the leg with his foot.

тАЬNo.тА?

тАЬYouтАЩve got to. Get up, or weтАЩre gonna be late,тА? punched him in the arm.

тАЬIтАЩm not going,тА? muttered.

тАЬDude, you canтАЩt stay here,тА? said.

тАЬBe happy for . Go out and live for her, make her prтАФтА?

тАЬIтАЩm not going. Leave me the fuck alone,тА? shouted suddenly as he sat straight up in bed.

, and were taken aback. They had never seen so upset before. He had always been an easy-going, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. But ever since he lost , he'd changed. He was no longer the everyone couldnтАЩt help but fall in love with.

тАЬWell, youтАЩve got our mobile numbers if you need us,тА? said, his heart aching for his friend. тАЬLetтАЩs go,тА? he turned to and .

They headed for the bedroom door to leave, with or without . They werenтАЩt going to let the band slip away, even though was. It hurt them to see him disappearing, becoming nothing but an empty shell. They could see the sadness, the pain in his eyes, the anger in his voice when he spoke. He just wasnтАЩt the same person anymore, and the press could even see it, writing up false stories in the paper to make themselves a little extra money.

didnтАЩt care what they said about him. He didnтАЩt care much about anything anymore.

тАЬItтАЩs really hard not to hate you right now, mate. What happened to you?тА? said with disgust, just before he walked out of the room.

Those last words echoed inside тАЩs head for a while after that. He sat on his bed, thinking of the person he had become in the last three months. He seemed to dig himself deeper and deeper into a hole, shoving and pushing everyone who had been patient with him away. He couldnтАЩt have asked for better friends or band mates.

climbed out of bed and removed his dirty, wrinkled t-shirt. He went over to his dresser, opened the second drawer and grabbed a clean one. He pulled it on, straightening it out on his body. He then grabbed his beanie hat, slipping it on over his unkempt hair. He grabbed his keys off the coffee table and raced out of the apartment, locking it up on his way out.

It was a twenty minute drive to the cemetery. gripped the steering wheel nervously. He had never felt so anxious, so full of stomach butterflies before in his life.

When he got out of his car and approached the grave stone, an overcast of dark grey clouds filled the sky. They looked angry, ready to open up and let heavy drops of rain come pouring down.

didnтАЩt take notice. He was too focused on what he came to do to even care about the weather.

He kneeled down in front of the stone, one arm propped up on it, almost like he thought it would crumble to pieces if he let go. His eyes began to tear and at first he choked on his words.

In Loving Memory Of

- April 16th 2008
Daughter, Sister, Friend

тАЬHey, itтАЩs me. ,тА? he began, and then chuckled. тАЬWhy do I keep introducing myself to you like you donтАЩt know me?тА?

He felt stupid, embarrassed. Why was he talking to a thick piece of cement? It wasnтАЩt going to respond. But when he did talk to it, he felt at ease. He felt better once he got whatever off his chest, even if no one was there to hear him. could feel her there although he couldnтАЩt see her.

тАЬI miss you so much,тА? he said, tears streaming down his face. тАЬCanтАЩt believe you are gone forever. There were loads of things we never got to do, never got to say. I love you. I loved you.тА?

swallowed, glancing down at his hand resting on his leg. More tears rolled down his cheeks; he never cried so much in his life as he had cried in the last three months.

тАЬYou know, IтАЩve been so upset over losing you that IтАЩve put McFly in jeopardy. IтАЩve not shown up to rehearsals as of late, and , and are quite furious with me at the minute,тА? he explained, sniffling every now and again. тАЬBut IтАЩve got to stop being such an ass and get my act together. ItтАЩs what you would want. IтАЩve been selfish.тА?

Wiping the tears from his eyes with the sleeves to his shirt, straightened up and pulled himself together. He didnтАЩt want to see him falling apart, if she could see him at all. He wanted to be strong for her.

тАЬIтАЩm gonna be better now. I promise,тА? he said, trying to convince himself.

was so lost these days, he hardly believed the words coming out of his mouth anymore.

тАЬI wish you were here so I could become the person that I was again,тА? whispered, kissing his hand and touching the grave stone.

* * * *

тАЬSitting and watching the world going by. Is it true when we die we go up to the sky? Whoa, whoa.тА? тАЩs voice cracked, thousands of fans staring at him from the arena seats.

тАЬSo many things that I donтАЩt understand. Burnt my feet in the sand when IтАЩm walking in the sun. Whoa, walking in the sun.тА?

, and watched from backstage. They couldnтАЩt deny the tears stinging their eyes as they watched their friend get emotional while he performed on stage. They knew how hard it was going to be, but felt very proud of him for being so strong. He had gotten through three days of intense rehearsals and managed to come out on top. They wondered what changed.

When the song came to an end, rushed off stage and dried his eyes with the bottom of his shirt. The fans went wild. , and gave him a hug before they prepared for the next song.

That night, couldnтАЩt sleep. He tossed and turned in his bedтАФsweat dripping off his forehead.

A clash of thunder roared outsideтАФrain pattering on the rooftop. Lightning struck, lighting up the sky as if someone snapped a quick picture. The rain had flooded the streets with at least an inch or two of water. It was one chaotic storm. And although couldnтАЩt sleep well, he slept throughout the entire thing.