CAN'T STOP A RIVER (FROM FLOWING TO THE SEA)
Standalone
Interactive
I smiled triumphantly as I set down the book I had been reading. I had been meaning to finish it for about a month now, and I finally found the time to sit on my butt and read it to the end. It was just the distraction I needed at a time like this. My eyes flicked outside as I watched the rain trickling down my window, each drop creating a little river, some connecting together some breaking apart; but all of them forming a big puddle somewhere.
I sighed feeling the ironic scene ache before me as I pushed off of the couch. Just three months ago I had been effortlessly connected to someone, I had been in fact for a good three years. I tried to push the feeling away as I
started the pile of dishes I had avoided before my book reading. I aimlessly rinsed them off one by one as my mind drifted off and landed heartbreakingly onto , my ex-boyfriend.
"Listen I know I've haven't been paying enough attention to you but you have to understand we've got a lot on our plate." protested looking across at me as we were in yet another conversation surrounding our relationship.
"There you go again! Whenever you say 'we' you're always talking about you and the guys." I let out frustrated at him.
" don't start with that okay! I'm sorry, you know this is my life, you've known that for the past three years! You've known that for longer, I knew you for a whole year before we even started dating!" He protested getting defensive.
"Yes I know that, but maybe I've finally realized that you say 'that' is your life. You never talk about our life, you never say your life is with me!" I told him feeling the tears starting to form in my eyes.
"Of course you're my life ! God, I thought we said that I'd focus on McFly for the next couple of years, you'd focus on running your parents restaurant and then we'd start getting more serious with our future. Don't get me wrong I am serious about this but we talked about how I can't give my all to both of you."
"Well I'm sorry I love you and my mind has changed ." I trembled and he sighed trying to figure out what to say as he reached out to me and placed his hands gently on my arms. I looked down at my feet letting stray tears fall down my face.
"," He soothed but I shook my head. "We've both been focusing on our work more than one another, but that's just where we are in our lives. The guys and I are writing for the new album in a few months. We're going away on vacation just before, it'll be a good time to get things fixed with us." He explained but I continued to shake my head.
"This is it , you and me, we aren't made for this anymore." I spoke softly and he remained silent, only making me ache more. "See, you can't even fight it."
A sudden burst of thunder jolted me from my day dream and I tried to shake the hurting feeling that consumed my body. My heart was racing with the tension of the thunder so fast that I jumped again when I heard a knock at
the door. I snatched up a dry cloth and started to dry my hands as I approached my door.
"Coming!" I called as I just about reached it, before unlatching it and swinging it open. I froze as stood in front of me a box in his hands.
"Hi," He spoke softly and all I wanted to do was fall into his arms. Why didn't he love me enough to let me do so?
", Hi. What can I do for you?" I asked lamely and he smiled a little at me, lifting the box momentarily.
"I brought some of your stuff over, sorry it took so long." He explained and I frowned nodding as I stepped aside and motioned for him to enter the flat.
"Right," I let out and walked back into the kitchen, not knowing if he would follow. I set the cloth down on the counter and held onto it for support. "Can I get you a drink or anything?" I asked racking my brain for something
to do, or say.
"Sure, a beer would be good." He told me and I noticed he had in fact followed me in.
"Come to think of it, I could use one of those." I smiled a little and heard him laugh lightly, causing my knees to buckle momentarily as I reached the fridge.
I quickly grabbed out two beers and he was all ready with the bottle opener, I smiled shyly as I handed him one after the other, our hands touching. I felt my cheeks burn and took a big gulp of my beer.
"Thirsty?" He asked before trying to gulp down a quarter of his bottle as well.
"Mmhmm, so how was tour and everything?" I asked taking a seat at the kitchen table.
He followed suit and smiled thinking of it all. I knew he loved his life with McFly and instead of being happy for him I was scared that he loved it more than me when we were together. I saw a quick glint of sadness when his eyes found mine, but he looked away too quickly and smiled, though not as convincingly.
"It was awesome, we got home just a week ago because of all of the promotion for Baby's Coming Back." He explained and I nodded. "We have a lot of planning to do for the summer shows and the rest of the year, another
arena tour and recording an album." He continued and I smiled a little seeing the passion in his eyes.
I took another gulp of my beer and studied his features. His messy hair, the perfect shade of , flicking
over his forehead. My whole body trembled as I glanced at his lips, trying to forget what his kisses tasted like.
"How have things with you been?" He asked calmly, his eyes also scanning me.
I was currently thanking the Heavens for my choice of clothes today, my plunging v-neck blue long sleeve, cupping the chest perfectly as I wasn't in a bra. A pair of black tight yoga pants fitting my thighs, I could see the heat in 's eyes rise every time he thought he was smoothly taking glances at my womanly features. He always told me he was a sucker for my thighs.
"Things have been well. The new partnership with the restaurant has proven to be the right choice. My parents have moved to Italy and gave me most of the rights to the business." I went on excitedly trying to forget my
tempting thoughts involving .
"Really? That's amazing! I knew they would finally realize you could run it all! I'm proud of you ." He confessed and I couldn't hide the smile any longer.
Having here felt to good to even remember how angry I had once been at him.
"Thanks, how are the guys?" I asked curiously.
"They're pretty good actually, they told me to say hello." He said and I smiled, I really did miss them all.
"Say hello back, please and thank you." I spoke and he nodded taking a gulp of his beer.
As our afternoon together continued on the tension of our break up had vanished and we were talking quit freely with one another. Though we avoided the topic of 'us' very strongly we got on very well about everything else. Our time together was very light hearted and it felt amazing, we were both sad to see it end when called to beckon him home.
"Thanks for letting me hang out, it was fun." spoke smiling at me as I walked him out to his car.
"Thank you, it was nice." I replied and he smiled bringing me into a hug.
I sunk into his body and he held me there effortlessly for a few seconds before we pulled away. We remained silent for a second looking at one another, taking each others features in.
"I guess I'll see you later?" He asked.
"Are you busy tomorrow night?" I asked before I could stop myself and he seemed a little shocked but shook his head with a willing smile.
"No, what do you have in mind?"
I hurriedly rushed from my room as I heard the fire alarm start off.
"Shit, shit!" I groaned trying to place my earrings in as I ran for my oven, which by now had a burnt roast beef in it.
I grabbed my oven glove and opened it to find I had indeed burn the crap out of the dinner I was supposed to be feeding . I slumped down onto my kitchen floor defeated after throwing the burnt food away. I was trying too hard wasn't I?
Last night when left he agreed to come over for dinner, I told him I was trying my new roast beef recipe. Perhaps it was too bold of me to try something I hadn't before when I was subconsciously trying to win over . I was so defeated and in my own world of self pity that I didn't even notice had let himself in.
"Hey, you left the door open." He spoke startling me from my place on the ground. "Mmm, something smells... burnt?" He asked eyeing me with a small smile and I pouted nodding at him, getting a laugh.
His laughing caused me to chuckle. He walked over and lent me a hand up, as my hand grasped onto his I felt my whole body tingle.
"Thanks." I mumbled taking a stand.
"You look nice." He told me glancing at my purple dress, it was more casual than dressy but it did look nice I suppose.
"Thanks, again." I blushed a little and he smiled at me, that smile could make forget the whole world.
"How about I order in?" He asked looking into my eyes and I nodded, afraid something wrong would come out if I spoke.
and I shared our time throughout the night much like we had yesterday afternoon. It was so nice to have him around again, even if I had to resist kissing him or holding his hand across the table; believe me it was hard resisting.
"I've got to pee," I spoke willingly as finally cleared our plates, after we had been talking for over two hours.
"Thanks for sharing, sweet cheeks." He let out and I saw him blush quickly with the nickname he used to use for me when he was feeling silly. I had a grin plastered on my face the whole walk to the toilet, it almost felt as if
we hadn't missed a beat; but we had and I had to accept that.
Once I was finished with my bathroom break I was about to start for when the box he left me yesterday caught my eye as it sat on my bed. I hadn't bothered to look inside of it yet, but for some reason I felt the urge now. I walked over to it and opened it, pouring it carefully onto my bed.
A confused expression came over my face as I glanced over 's things. None of these items were mine, they were all 's. There was some of his favourite DVD's, one of his belt buckles, a picture of him and the guys, one of the various stuffed animals a fan gave him, and a t-shirt I once got him, among other things. I swallowed the lump in my throat not understanding this at all.
I pushed up from my bed and headed straight for the kitchen where I had left . I found him in the living room instead, a beer in his hand, a beer for myself on the table.
"Hey," I got out softly and he looked up at me smiling from his comfortable position on the couch. I took a seat and grabbed my beer.
"Fall in?" He teased smiling as he took a sip of his own drink. I smiled a little looking him over after I shoved him playfully, his faded jeans and the dressiest shirt you would ever see him in, which wasn't very dressy at all.
We sat silently listening to the stereo as it softly played throughout the room. gently placed his hand on my bare knee, sending butterflies flying around inside of me. I focused on the feeling of hand, his thumb rubbing soft circles on my knee. All of our past came flooding back to me, all the emotions drowning me with no effort at all.
"?" I asked looking over at him, he glanced back at me his eyes intently staring into mine.
"Yeah?" He replied willingly.
"Why did you bring me a box full of your stuff?" I asked, eyeing him curiously. I felt as if I was so desperate for the answer he was going to give me. I wanted this answer to be the only one I needed.
"I needed an excuse to see you. I figured you would just take the box and tell me to screw off, then you'd have to bring the box back once you realized it was my stuff and not yours." He confessed his face being a little red, but he was being completely honest with me.
"..." I started unsure of what I wanted to say or what I wanted to do.
", just wait." He spoke looking at me and I stayed quiet. "There is something I really need to get off of my chest." He confessed and I nodded feeling completely overwhelmed by this.
"These past three months have given me a lot of time to think and reflect." He started. "I realized that even though I love my life with McFly, its not enough. I would give everything up because it really isn't what it could be
without you to share it with. I can't stop my heart from loving you, . I want to give it all to you, I should have been there and sometimes I wasn't, but I've realized that I want to be there, more than anything." He spoke, his eyes never leaving me.
My eyes were effortlessly letting a few stray tears out silently as I listened to his perfect voice saying the words
I wanted nothing more than to hear.
"I love you." Was all I could say before he pulled me into his chest and held me there strongly.
"I love you. I'm sorry we had to break apart for all of this to happen," He confessed and I shook my head into his chest before pulling away but remaining close to his face.
"I don't care what had to happen, I just want us to be together." I explained and he nodded smiling as he wiped away my tears and grabbed my face to pull me in for a flawless kiss.
"You can't stop a river from flowing to the sea," He said against my lips and I let out a giggle.
"I never took you for a Duncan James fan." I replied and he laughed smiling at me.
"Yeah well I heard you singing it one day and it kind of stuck in my mind." He laughed leaning in for another kiss.
"Besides, it's the truth." He smiled.
THE END.